When I first started staying home with my son, I have to admit his screaming bouts were challenging. The emotions that flow me are terrifying: anger, helplessness, questioning my competency as a father. And lonely.
Today as I had him in the Baby Bjorn he had another. And, it came to me that I want him to be free with his emotions. I saw that I could react and try to stifle his screams somehow. I know rationally that would not work after even just four months. But, it would have felt like I was moving in the direction of doing something, of stopping the pain for me.
I choose today to just be a mirror. To just let him hear his own voice in silence from me. Maybe I will give him a rhythmic tempo of shushing to help him find his time. My hope is that he will grow up and always feel safe in expressing how he is in that moment. I know my wife and I both want that for him.